i appreciated this even more the third time reading it. You had the winning story in that beat in the park. The writing throughout is very clean and the tone and voice are consistent and excellent. Your dead pan writing style works well for your comedic set ups.
"We were the last Korean family in Harlem, back in 1969." I have to point this out. This is a good opening but its historically non-sensical. Koreans started coming in large waves to the United States after the 1965 immigration law that changed how immigration was done in the country. By 1969, this family would have been one of the FIRST Korean families in Harlem. The story loses nothing with this change, actually its themes are likely stronger, and you are more accurate. I have so many questions about the narrator in this story. He seems like late 30s now. Thinking back. Anyways. easy to get this wrong in such a tight time period, but thought i should mention it, since i did look this up to check it out.
Fantastic fictional debut. "I must’ve looked like a child prodigy, a five year-old with a dick so long and hard that it could’ve been crowned the heavyweight champion of the world. Even my father needed a second to recover from his amazement." What a fuckin' line.
i appreciated this even more the third time reading it. You had the winning story in that beat in the park. The writing throughout is very clean and the tone and voice are consistent and excellent. Your dead pan writing style works well for your comedic set ups.
"We were the last Korean family in Harlem, back in 1969." I have to point this out. This is a good opening but its historically non-sensical. Koreans started coming in large waves to the United States after the 1965 immigration law that changed how immigration was done in the country. By 1969, this family would have been one of the FIRST Korean families in Harlem. The story loses nothing with this change, actually its themes are likely stronger, and you are more accurate. I have so many questions about the narrator in this story. He seems like late 30s now. Thinking back. Anyways. easy to get this wrong in such a tight time period, but thought i should mention it, since i did look this up to check it out.
Hell yes. Appreciate it. I said last bc the other family mentioned is Korean and after he escapes it’s just this last one. But I get how it reads.
okay, yeah i can see that now.
more wonderful the second time. i will be reading this many more times.
Fantastic fictional debut. "I must’ve looked like a child prodigy, a five year-old with a dick so long and hard that it could’ve been crowned the heavyweight champion of the world. Even my father needed a second to recover from his amazement." What a fuckin' line.
great work
I have a small beef with the title. Why is it not a penis joke? Or is it…?
Hahaha I just had 15 seconds to come up w it
small beef